what could've been

"To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves."
- Federico García Lorca, Blood Wedding and Yerma
I will try to make this post as... cohesive as possible? This is something I've always wanted to tell but I have received some new information that may just change the whole context of this post.

Pining sucks. When you long for someone yet you cannot do anything to cope with it? You just have to wait, and wait and look from a far. Pining has been the only thing I can do whenever I fall for someone; I seemingly cannot force myself to actually make a move, take initiative. I only watch from a far, waiting and praying for some kind of miracle. But isn't it the best one can do, to avoid any harm? To be quiet, to stay still and pray hard so that maybe, maybe God has His way to somewhat link us together.

Actually, it's kind of a painful routine. You are stuck in this room called "uncertainty" in which you just ga…

sarah recommends: springlike songs

As spring approaches, more 'springlike' songs have come afloat. These are the k-pop songs that I've been listening to a lot lately. They sound similar to each other, and are nice to listen to during this time of the season. Without further ado, please check them out and take a listen! :)


Would U by Red Velvet 
A midtempo ballad, it is officially the first song from SM's second season of STATION series. I really like the harmonization of the girls here, they sound very sweet and the accompanying piano-led instrumental is very pleasing as well. The lyrics are very cute, too ;_;

Week by Kim Chungha
A midtempo ballad by former I.O.I member, now soloist the love of my life, my princess Kim Chungha. I expected her to debut with an upbeat song, but this is perfect to test the waters, I guess. The lyrics took me by surprise, as it turns out the song is about feeling lonely and being still when everyone and everything keeps moving. At least that's what I got from reading the…

i should be doing something else, but


I am currently going through my blog posts and oh my God, so many of them are very embarrassing. I literally cringed as I looked through them all. I've decided to delete several recent posts because I sounded really desperate in those posts. Not a good look.

I admit I'm not as excited about college life as much as I was then, as you can see through my 2015 posts-- which means, I was in my second and third semester then. As I grow older, I realize that I'm always one step closer to full adulthood by each day. Adulthood scares me a bit, and I've probably said something like this before. Thinking about it makes me enjoy my hobbies less; it makes me less happy, day by day. But, I also think that you always have to try to be happy. It gets more difficult to be genuinely happy as days pass, but eventually you'll find happiness in even the littlest things.

I remember Jonghyun's Esquire interview (as translated by @sullaem on Twitter) when he talked about wanting…

clear umbrella

Clear umbrella
she remembered, clearly; of autumn leaves, falling quietly, gracefully...
cracked, old concrete pathways, covered in shades of brown and yellow. the sky painted hues of grey, blazing ray of light nowhere to be seen.
the clear umbrella, she held onto tightly, her knuckles grew paler.
drops of tears, sky crying, piercing through, dissolves then.
waiting, she did. hoping, she did. praying, she did.
blazing ray of light nowhere to be seen.
the clear umbrella, she held onto tightly, dearly.


Hi, it's currently almost 3 p.m. here but the sun is still blazing. Thankfully the breezing wind is enough to keep me cool sitting at the porch. Broad daylight with cool wind breeze is a perfect scene to relax, daydreaming, perhaps. When I was having lunch I thought of making another personal post about nostalgia.

It's the end of July already and, hopefully, in nine days I'm going back to Depok. I was going to think that, "whoa... time flies so fast" but honestly, it doesn't. I've been at home for almost two months and I think I've had enough time to relax and doing nothing while I've been here. Man, I didn't even do much house chores here. I haven't helped my mom and grandma much here, but good news is, it indicates that my mom is getting better! Yeay...? I'm an embarrassment for my mom, aren't I? :(
Since the time is near for me to go back to college life and taking care of conference preps, I've been paying more attention to t…

☆.。.:* a little (unimportant) update of my life pt.1 .。.:*☆

Hi! It's currently 3:34 PM here in Lhokseumawe and I haven't shared anything personal on this blog for quite a while, amirite? So here's the unimportant blog post nobody asked for! Yeay!

FYI I've been home for about two weeks. There had not been much to do beside staying at home with internet but hey, that's the best kind of break ever! To chill at home and give no shit about your responsibilities/duties what a pos and relax because when will you ever during college days? Ah, I have also been helping Mom and Grandma baking cookies for the past three days. My family is not the type to buy cookies for Eid because homemade cookies >>> artificially sweet bought cookies according to my grandmother. And my grandmother owns the house so you can't argue (but it's true though homemade cookies are WAY better). We made kue sagon (it's a traditional Acehnese cookies made of coconut and rice flour, it tastes savory and crunchy♡), chocolate cookies, classic …

i changed my url

Not much, just added a dash in between. I think it's finally time to change it.

After hours of struggling to find a new name for the URL, looking for pretty words in foreign languages and all, I decided I will stick to my original URL, only with a dash in between. After all, 'shaskey' as a term has hold a special place in my heart, haha.

Seven years. I've used my previous URL for almost seven years (this August will be this blog's seventh year anniversary!). I've posted literally almost everything that I was and I am. From the moment I decided to make a blog, sharing useless stuffs (mostly 13 year-old fangirling posts and complaining about my unrequited love saga), dangerous stuffs (a.k.a spilling embarrassing stuffs and being a disgrace to my family), and others I can't quite remember. This blog still remains the best and sometimes worst place to pour out my feelings without fear of anyone judging. Well, unless you know me personally and happen to stumble …